he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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