idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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