Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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