The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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