Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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