My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
