Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
