I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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