so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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