I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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