so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
