Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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