i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
