I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
