Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
