And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
