i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
