The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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