why didn't you poke me back
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize