My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
