Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
