PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
