is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
