check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
