You're earring is so big in my mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
