The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize