even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
