so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
