let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
