Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
