yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
