They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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