absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
