also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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