i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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