Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i barfeds in our rink
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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