things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
