you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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