Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
