The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
