I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
