i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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