thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize