this beer tastes like vomit already
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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