She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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