i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
