This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
