Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
