I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
