operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize