i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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