My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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