she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
