so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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