Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
