That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
