I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
