well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My ass is underappreciated
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
