woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize