first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
