and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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