my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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