so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
