wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
