I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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