Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
