operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Randomize
