she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
