Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize