i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
