I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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