If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Bring me that man meat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
