you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
